Pretense. It suffocates you, smothers you, takes away the very essence of who you are. Being forced to live a lie, for fear of your life, your marriage, your family, your children.
While I've been playing the "I'm still a devout Muslim" act solely for the purpose of my safety (if my safety wasn't the issue, I wouldn't bother to pretend, I believe if people really do love me they'd accept me for who I am) for a good while now, I've recently come across so many Ex-Muslim women, either Muslims since birth or converts, being forced to keep their apostasy a secret for reasons different than mine.
Its a sad sight to watch these women wanting to come out as non believers, but refrain from doing so, for they fear their husbands will divorce them, their children will be taken away from them and they will be scarred by the merciless society for life.
It makes you wonder what the reason is behind the Islamic double standards. For example, if you chose to convert to Islam, oh my god, you're the smartest, greatest, most amazing person in the eyes of a Muslim.
But what happens when you decide Islam doesn't make sense to you, if you converted, it was a mistake and if you were born to Muslim parents, well, Islam wasn't really your choice?
The hatred, the despise directed towards you is disturbing. People tell you how you've let them down, denied what Allah has chosen for you, how you're stupid and irrational and deserve to burn in hell. They want to break all relations with you, shun you and in some (sad) cases, even want to see you dead.
Why is apostasy such a taboo in Islam? Is it because it shakes the belief of the so called devout Muslims themselves, or is it that they fear it will probably make other less bigoted people in the community want to think and eventually, leave religion too? Why is an apostate treated like a disease, while a convert to the community will receive all the praise and approval you can dream of?
It is difficult to understand the mind of a devout Muslim, even for me, when I (sort of)used to be one too. What do you think is the reason, that apostates of Islam (mostly women that too, most of the time the men aren't given such a hard time) have to go through what they do? Your thoughts. Thank you :)
There are I think two angles to this:
ReplyDeleteFrom the point of view of the shopkeepers of islam, the rationale is at its core very simple and can be best explained by an analogy to a mafia. One is not supposed to leave the organization alive after having had the experience of being its part.
The mechanisms at work among ordinary muslims in regards to this issue can be summed up in two words: crab bucket
Those are very good points. I believe the mentality is very much so.
ReplyDeleteLuckily I haven't confronted this attitude. I am amazed at how people can think like this. I think born Muslims have been brainwashed to think this is THE religion, and you cannot leave. They are not used to changing religions. Many Muslims I met after I converted were in awe. They would never convert, even if they did not practice at all. Not having grown up in it, I really can't comprehend the kill apostates attitude. My ex isn't all fire and brimstone on me or anything, but I know he wants our kids to be Muslim. Whether he likes it or not, it will be THEIR choice.
ReplyDeleteAnisah